I had a beautiful mother. She was a cross between a golden-haired fairy godmother and a Hitchcock blonde. Always impeccably dressed, my mother could walk through a barnyard in a white suit and emerge without a speck. Not me. I am a walking advertisement for what I ate for lunch, since most of it ends up down my shirt.
“Your children are not your children,” wrote the Lebanese poet Kahil Gibran, “They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself…You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.” It is a quote I like, not only because—having raised four children by four different men on my own—I believe it to be just about the most accurate description of parenthood I have ever come across, but also because it emphasizes the ‘lightness’ which develops when you give up trying to be perfect and come to trust the processes of Nature—in feeding, in healing, in guiding you and your child towards what is best for his or her development at any moment in time. Read More About Child-Raising – Trust In Nature
A few years ago I had lunch with a beautiful and successful American woman in her mid thirties. Sooner or later the conversation got around – as it often does with me – to children. This woman told me that she had a five year old daughter. I asked her if it was difficult living and working in New York while raising a child on her own. She replied that it had been hard but that now it should get better since she and her little girl were going to parenting classes. `Parenting classes,’ I asked, `whatever are they?’ `You know, where you learn how to be a parent. We go twice a week together,’ she reported with enthusiasm. Read More Stuff Kids Done Taught Me
My first child was born in a huge teaching hospital in Los Angeles. The labor was long and regrettably not natural. I was given an analgesic during labor and an epidural for the delivery. It was all very cold, efficient and mechanical. The hospital I was in happened to be a Catholic one in which every other woman there seemed already to know the ropes since she was giving birth to her fifth or eighth or tenth child. Nobody bothered to tell me much about what was going on or what was expected of me. Read More Of How I Learned That Love Is Real